if you dont still say “wed-ness-day” in your head when you spell wednesday then ur a fucking liar
- east coasters: i drove through 17 states on the way to work
- west coasters: i have been traveling in this desert for 49 years. generations have died. children have been born. when will i make it to the promised land
"sorry miss i cant do pe today because i strained my eyebrow"
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.
Suddenly, Lorraine died.
At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”
i’m done with this website
in 5th grade i used to suck on my arm and i dont know why but it was a really bad habit of mine like how kids sucked their thumbs, i sucked on my arm and my cousin who was in like 10th grade at the time asked if i had a hickey on my arm and i didnt know what it was and i said yes and he told me i was a “playa” and i told him i liked sports
cry me a lake by justin timberriver
I have the talent of getting tired without doing nothing
youre not friends if you havent pooped at each others houses
but what if the friend is across the country or in another country?
my entire life is me dropping things and whispering ‘fuck’